Quote

"We will not build on the sand, but on the bedrock of the sayings of Christ, and the gates and minions of hell shall not prevail against us. Should such men as we fear? Before the whole world, yes, before the sleepless, lukewarm, faithless namby-pamby Christian world, we will dare to trust our God, we will venture our all for Him, we will live and we will die for Him,  and we will His joy unspeakable singing aloud in our hearts. We will a thousand times sooner die only trusting in our God than live trusting in man. And when we come into this position the battle is already won, and the end of the glorious campaign in sight. We will have the real Holiness of God, not the sticky stuff of talk and dainty words and pretty thoughts; we will have a masculine Holiness, one of daring faith and works of Jesus Christ.

 -C.T. Studd

"Ode" -Arthur O'Saughnessy

WE are the music-makers,
And we are the dreamers of dreams,
Wandering by lone sea-breakers,
And sitting by desolate streams;
World-losers and world-forsakers,	5
On whom the pale moon gleams:
Yet we are the movers and shakers
Of the world for ever, it seems.
With wonderful deathless ditties
We build up the world's great cities,	10
And out of a fabulous story
We fashion an empire's glory:
One man with a dream, at pleasure,
Shall go forth and conquer a crown;
And three with a new song's measure	15
Can trample an empire down.
We, in the ages lying
In the buried past of the earth,
Built Nineveh with our sighing,
And Babel itself with our mirth;	20
And o'erthrew them with prophesying
To the old of the new world's worth;
For each age is a dream that is dying,
Or one that is coming to birth.

Be on your guard, there are more fowler things then orks in the deep places.

So this week was quite interesting. My heart has just been devastated with being here. I am in such a new environment. Every aspect of me is being challenged to pursue excellence. I feel like I am kinda having withdrawals. Im so used to my life being the same thing over and over and over and over again. Now, none of what i do is the same.

I have realized this past week how much of my life is given over to the idol of food. When im sad, I eat. When I am happy, I eat. When I am any other emotion I eat!! I do not take these feelings to the Lord. How sad is that? Here I am on my knees crying out to Him for change and I don't even allow Him to the opportunity to know every part of me. The good, sad, and evil.

Sometimes, I feel as though I live in a day dream. I want to be on an epic adventure like Lord of the Rings or Narnia. I can at times feel a sword in my hand. I think I forget that those things are a carbon copy of the reality we actually live in. We are in a time of war, and the weapons are not physical. We fight on our knees. We fight with our worship. I am a warrior of worship! I realize some people may think I am unwise for not pursuing something of more "value" such as school or a better career, but would that profit me in the end? Nothing. I will have wasted my life pursuing myself instead of thinking of eternity. We have maybe 70 years to pour out and store up as much as we can in heaven until we pass. That's all the time we get and it determines our forever.

If I just understood my role. If i just knew with confidence who I truly was, everything would change. How much more effective would I be if I knew how the Lord saw me in His kingdom? I need to seek the Lord out on this. I don't think I believe how He sees me. I see myself as worthless, not good for anything, and a screw up. I reek with false humility. When will my day come? I just want to see Him. To really know who I am and what He was thinking when He made me.

I need to let the Lord make me new. I have been resisting change. Resisting His attempt to make me a new person. I am comfortable. I don't want to change. I know I need it though. Im just going along knowing I need to change but am not doing anything to make it happen. Gah! Flesh!

*My prayers for this week are continued healing for my foot. It is doing better but is not fully healed.
*A satisfied heart fully in Jesus.
*Peace.

Thank you all. More to come.:)